FHE: The Importance of Choosing Good Friends

This lesson is most appropriate for older children (8 and older). Its objective is to illustrate how our lives are affected by the type of friends we choose to be around.
Before Family Home Evening, I prepared 4 envelopes, each with a name from the following story written on the front. (Sam, Kate, Mitch, Betty) I cut out the number strips (found at the end of the story) for each name, and placed all 6 in each envelope.

We started by reading the section in For the Strength of Youth entitled "Friends". 

Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.
To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included.
Invite your friends of other faiths to your Church meetings and activities, where they can learn about the gospel. Help them feel welcome and wanted. Many people have joined the Church through the example and fellowship of their friends. Don’t be offended if your friends decline your invitation to learn more about the gospel. Just continue to be their friend.

Next, I emphasized how important it is to surround ourselves with good friends. I then read the children the following story.

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY!


One morning, you wake up and as you open your eyes, you realize that it is Saturday. As you snuggled down in your warm bed, you think about what fun things you might do that day. You decided to call a friend on the phone. (HAVE EACH CHILD CHOOSE FRIEND ENVELOPE, but do not read open it)

Your friends mother answered the phone and tells you... (Have each child remove paper #1, and read it out loud)

She says, “I will have them call you as soon as they are available.” You climb out of bed, thinking about your friend and their example. Sometimes you wish you could be more like them. You pour yourself a bowl of cereal. In your mind, you are thinking about your science project due next week, but you really don’t feel like doing it. As you sit there wondering what to do, the phone rings. It is your friend. They say, (#2)

Before you know it the day is half way over, and it is time for lunch– and finally some free time to hang out with your friend and have some fun. You and your buddy decide to go to McDonald's for a burger. As you are walking in, you see a little boy who has fallen off his bike, spilled his money, and scraped his knee. You and your friend... (#3)

After lunch, you friend excitedly tells you they have a surprise they have been wanting to show you. Your friend... (#4)

You tell your friend that you need to go home for dinner, because you told your parents you would be home, and don’t want them to worry. Your friend says, (#5)

After dinner, you spend a little while getting ready for the party. You have been excited about this party all week. When you and your friend get there, you realize... (#6)

That night, as you climb back into bed, you think about your very busy day. How do you feel? Are you proud of your actions? Did your friend help you be your best self? Are you more like your Savior now than you were this morning? Are you happy? Who are you going to spend your time with tomorrow?

The End


SAM:
#1– I'm sorry, Sam is not available. He left early this morning to go weed the neighbors garden.


#2– Hey man! My mom said you called. I am almost done weeding, but wondered if you want to help me finish. I am using this weeding project for my Science fair. I thought you might want to work on it together. My neighbor said she would treat us to lunch after.

#3– Help the little boy up, dust off his knees, gather up his money, and call his Mother on your phone. After his mom comes, you go in to McDonald's, and the manager says he saw your kindness. He gives you your meal for free.

#4– Takes you to the car and pulls out some of your favorite cookies he made for you. He has a few extra plates too. You spend the next couple hours delivering them to your friends around town.

#5– “OK, tell your parents I said ‘Hi’. Bytheway, do you want to Jen’s party later? You decide to go, and agree that Sam will pick you up later that night.

#6– That the party is not appropriate! Your friend suggests that you leave. The 2 of you decide to go buy some treats and rent a movie together instead. You watch it at your house, and have a great time.

KATE:
#1– I'm sorry, Kate is not available. She went to help babysit so our friend could go to the temple.


#2– Hi. I just got home. I need to finish my homework, but wondered if you want to meet up for lunch? You decide to quickly get your science project done while you wait.

#3– Help the little fella up, and bring him inside to call his mom. Your friend uses some of the money she earned babysitting to buy him an ice cream while you wait.

#4– Brings you back to her house where she gives you a picture she painted. You spend the next couple hours painting together, and working in your talents.

#5– “Oh man, we are having so much fun! You call and ask if Kate can come home with you for dinner? Your mom says that is fine. It works out good, because you plan on going to a party together later that night anyway.

#6– That the party is a surprise party given by your parents for you and all of your friends. They wanted to thank you for always being so obedient. You feel proud of yourself and your friend, and have a great time.


MITCH:
#1– I'm sorry, Mitch is not available. He is still asleep in his room. He came home very late.


#2– Dude, I am so tired. Your phone call woke me up. Thanks a lot! I'm going back to bed, but I will call you for lunch and we can hang out.

#3– Push the kid out of the way and go in Mc Donalds.

#4– Brings you back to his car, where he pulls out some gross magazines. You didn’t want to see them, but you feel trapped, and cant help but look.

#5– “Do you always do what your mom says?” You feel a little embarrassed and decide to skip dinner and go to your friends house instead. Your pretty hungry, and hope there will be some good food at the party you are going to later.

#6– That the party is really boring. Your friend insists you leave. You go to a park, and throw rocks in the pond. Before long, your friend starts throwing rocks at cars. A police car comes and – even thought you didn’t throw any rocks, you end up at the police station– in trouble and calling your mom.

BETTY:
#1– I'm sorry, Betty is not available. She didn’t come home last night, and I'm worried about her.


#2– Hey. I just got home and saw you called. I spent the night at Tami’s (or at least that's what I told my mom ha ha). I need to sleep, but I will pick you up later for lunch.

#3– Grab the little boys money, and buy an extra treat or 2.

#4– Takes you to a movie theater, where her older brother sneaks you into a rater R movie. You didn’t want to see it, but didn’t know how to say no.

#5– “Geesh! Your parents are so lame! I will pick you up later for the party.” You march into your house, angry at your parents for making you come home.

#6– That the party is wild. You aren’t very comfortable, but your friend convinces you it is alright. She passes you a drink (that tasted kind of funny) and.. Well... you don’t really remember much after that.

At the end of the story, I reassured my children that I know they have the ability to choose good friends., I explained that-- just like the envelopes, sometimes people look OK on the outside, and then you realize that they aren't necessarily what you had thought on the inside. It is important to be kind to everyone, but it is equally important to choose good people to spend your time with.

Easter Week Activity

This year, I really wanted to focus on the Savior and His resurrection as a part of our Easter celebration. Each night, after dinner (starting the Sunday before Easter), we gathered together and learned about what happened to the Savior on that particular day. I am not a scripturian (so I am not claiming perfect accuracy), but I think we all had fun and learned a lot. I used a big stack of pictures from the Gospel Art Kit (purchased from the LDS Distribution center).  Each night, after the lesson, the children searched through the pile and pulled out the picture for that day. We hung one on the wall to represent that day. The pictures were really helpful to me, because I got most of my facts from the info on the back. Here is the rundown of our activities. It took a little work, but really paid in huge dividends!

Sunday (before Easter) : Palm Sunday

We talked about the triumphal entry. We discussed why Jesus was going to Jerusalem (passover).We talked about what "Hosanna" means (using the Bible Dictionary). For our activity, we acted out the triumphal entry (using simple costumes like blankets and bathrobes, palm leaves made from paper, and reading from Mark 11:1-10).

Monday: Jesus Cleansing the Temple

After I taught about Jesus' visit to the temple, we asked what Jesus would "cleanse" from our house if He came to visit. I gave each of the children little pieces of paper to write their answers on. They wrote things like-- teasing, saying "hate", whining, critisizing, etc.. We crumpled up the papers and swept them out of our house.

Tuesday: Teaching with Parables

I talked with the children about why Jesus used parables to teach. Earlier in the day, I asked some of my children to become familiar with a particular parable each. For our activity, we rotated to different stations, and learned some parables.

-The Parable of the 10 Virgins: I taught the parable (making sure to emphasize that the 10 virgins represent members of the church), then for our activity we took a preparedness quiz. It had 9 questions. They were things like, *Did you say your prayers this morning? *Did you come to family scripture study today? *Did you serve someone today? *What did we learn about at FHE last week? For each question they did what was right, they got a drop of oil (I used vitamin E pills). At the end of the quiz, I reminded them that in the parable, it took a very long time for the bridegroom to come. I asked for 5 oil drops back. I then told them that if they had any drops left-- they made it to the wedding with the wise virgins, but if they did not-- they needed to start working harder to put "oil" in their spiritual lamps.

- The Wise Man Built His House Upon The Rock: My son taught the parable, explaining the difference between building on Christ's teachings and example as opposed to placing our house on Satan's values (things like wealth, appearance, etc.). He placed a house he had built out of building blocks on a rock. We each took turns spraying it with a water bottle. He then put the house on a sandy foundation (or in this case packed flour). We took turns spraying with the bottle-- and it didnt take long for the foundation to crumble.

- The Good Samaritan: My daughter taught the parable, using the picture from the Gospel Art Kit. She had us each draw names of a family member, and asked us to do something kind for them before the night was over. We also brought some treats to our neighbors.

Wednesday: Rest in Bethany

I made sure that I emphasized that the scriptures don't reference exactly what happened on this day, but that many historians think Jesus rested in Bethany. We talked about Mary anointing Jesus with expensive oils, and what that represented. For our activity, I gave the children foot massages with "expensive lotion" while they rested.

Thursday: The Last Supper and Jesus' Prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane

A lot happened this 5th day. Jesus had the last supper and instituted the sacrament, he washed the apostles feet, he preformed the atonement in the garden, and he was taken captive by the guards. For our activity: we had a special Jerusalem dinner. We ate olives, cheeses, crackers, bagels, sausage, yogurt, nuts, fruit, romaine lettuce (bitter herbs) and grape juice. I challenged the children to pray for help to know how they can more fully partake of the sacrament and gift of the atonement.

Friday: Trial and Crucifixion

I really tried to emphasize a reverent tone with this lesson. After talking about the trial and Crucifixion, we watched this short video about the atonement.
It ended up being the most spiritual night of the week.

Saturday: Jewish Sabbath

This is the only picture that I didn't find in the Gospel Art Kit

Tonight we talked a little about the Jewish Sabbath (day of rest). I also taught about Joseph of Arimethea, and the reason Pilate stationed guards outside of Christ's tomb.
Sunday: Christ's Resurrection

We started this day off by blasting Handel's Hallelujah Choir throughout the house. I told of Jesus appearing to Mary at the tomb, appearing as a stranger on the road to Emmaus, and later, showing himself to his apostles. My son studied 3 Nephi 11, and talked to us a little about Christ's visit to the Nephites. We had a special dinner, later in the day. I really wanted it to feel like a day of celebration.

I got a few of my ideas from the book "A Christ Centered Easter" by Janet and Joe Hales

Buckets O' Love

At the beginning of the month, I put out a red bucket for everyone with their name on it. During the month we filled each other's buckets with love notes, Valentine's, and candy. One of my children really liked the idea of the Love Buckets, and was constantly putting "treasures" from her room into each of our buckets. I had planned for us to wait and empty the buckets on Valentine's Day, but the buckets were such a hit, that we had to empty them numerous times before then. It was simple, and fun, and helped increase the feelings of love and appreciation in our home.

The Love Seat

We played a game tonight for Family Home Evening that was really fun. Our lesson was about loving one another as the Savior loved everyone, but the activity would work anytime (especially during the LOVE-ly month of February).  I placed a chair in the middle of the room, and each family member took a turn in the chair. While the family member was in the "love-seat", the rest of the family each thought of 3 things they loved about that individual. Then, one at a time we would tell 1 of the things we loved about them. The 2 rules were that we had to get up and look them in the eyes, and after we mentioned the thing we loved, we closed by saying "...This is one of the many things I love about you." At first, I thought the rules were kind of silly, but they really added to the special-ness of the game-- particularly with my older children. My favorite part of the game was my husband telling me what he loved about me.  It was nice for my children to be reminded how much he loves me, and I love him. It was wonderful to hear everyone speak so sweet to one another. The feeling of love and kindness was so strong in our home after we finished, and the sweetness lingered all night long.

Spread the Love

Last night, our Family Home Evening lesson was on Love One Another/ Serve those you Love. We talked about the parable of the Good Samaritan, and anwsered the question of "Who is my Neighbor?" For our activity, I presented a stack of paper hearts, and explained to the children that everytime they feel loved this week, I want them to write it on a heart, and stick it on the fridge. I have heard a lot of variations on this, but I think it is important to focus on how blessed our lives are as a result of the kindness of others. . . so I went that way. It has only been one day, and the love in our home has increased. I have seen family members go the extra mile in the kindness they are extending, and I have seen others become more aware of all the good around them. It is refreshing to focus on the positive. The hearts say things like, "Cameron said my outfit looks cute. This made me feel good." or "Dad works hard everyday, so we can have money, thanks Dad!." or "I got a BIG hug when I walked in the door today-- it was great." Our fridge is nearly covered, and we still have 6 days to go. Looks like I might need to cut out some more paper hearts! It was a simple idea, that took minimal work, and yielded great results! I recommend it to anyone whose family needs a little love-boost. I think it could work at anytime of year (not just February). I thought it might be just as fun to use paper shamrocks, and use a lesson about how LUCKY we are to be so blessed by others.

FHE: Spiritual Crocodiles

Preparation ahead of time:
Print and color 15 crocodiles.

On the front of the crocodile glue the negative "spiritual crocodile" statement (underlined). On the back of the crocodile glue the related quote. 

Hide the crocodiles around the room before FHE.


Crocodile quotes:

Listen to whatever type of music you want... the words don’t matter, its just the beat that is cool
Music is an important and powerful part of life. It can be an influence for good that helps you draw closer to Heavenly Father. However, it can also be used for wicked purposes. Unworthy music may seem harmless, but it can have evil effects on your mind and spirit. Choose carefully the music you listen to. Pay attention to how you feel when you are listening. Don’t listen to music that drives away the Spirit, encourages immorality, glorifies violence, uses foul or offensive language, or promotes Satanism or other evil practices.

It doesn't matter what type of games you play– they’re just games...not real life.
Whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Therefore, choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices. It will allow you to enjoy yourself without losing the Spirit of the Lord. While much entertainment is good, some of it can lead you away from righteous living. Satan uses such entertainment to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal and exciting. It can mislead you into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.

Pornography wont hurt you. Its fun.
Pornography in all its forms is especially dangerous and addictive. What may begin as a curious indulgence can become a destructive habit that takes control of your life. It can lead you to sexual transgression and even criminal behavior. Pornography is a poison that weakens your self-control, changes the way you see others, causes you to lose the guidance of the Spirit, and can even affect your ability to have a normal relationship with your future spouse. If you encounter pornography, turn away from it immediately.

You should wear whatever is in style. Modest clothes are so old-fashioned.
Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you.

It doesn’t matter who your friends are...
Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.

Sometimes, its OK to tell a lie– especially if it keeps you from getting in trouble.
Be honest with yourself, others, and the Lord. When you are honest in every way, you build strength of character that will allow you to be of great service to God and others. You will be blessed with peace of mind and self-respect. When you are honest, you will be trusted by the Lord and by those around you. Dishonesty hurts you and usually hurts others as well. When you lie, steal, shoplift, or cheat, you damage your spirit and become less able to do good things. Be honest in your job, giving a full amount of work for your pay. Don’t rationalize that wrong is right, even though many people around you may think there is no harm in being dishonest. Being honest requires courage and commitment to do what you know is right.

Words don’t matter! Besides– everyone swears!
How you speak says much about who you are. Clean and intelligent language is evidence of a bright and wholesome mind. Use language that uplifts, encourages, and compliments others. Do not insult others or put them down, even in joking. Speak kindly and positively about others so you can fulfill the Lord’s commandment to love one another. When you use good language, you invite the Spirit to be with you. Always use the names of God and Jesus Christ with reverence and respect. Misusing their names is a sin. Profane, vulgar, or crude language or gestures, as well as jokes about immoral actions, are offensive to the Lord and to others. Foul language harms your spirit and degrades you. Do not let others influence you to use it.

Smoking and drinking are fun. Don’t follow the word of wisdom
Never use tobacco products, such as cigarettes, snuff, chewing tobacco, cigars, and pipe tobacco. They are very addictive and will damage your body and shorten your life. Also, do not drink coffee or tea, for these are addictive and harmful. Any form of alcohol is harmful to your body and spirit. Being under the influence of alcohol weakens your judgment and self-control and could lead you to break the law of chastity or other commandments. Drinking can lead to alcoholism, which destroys individuals and families. Any drug, chemical, or dangerous practice that is used to produce a sensation or “high” can destroy your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. These include hard drugs, prescription or over-the-counter medications that are abused, and household chemicals. Never let Satan or others lead you to think that breaking the Word of Wisdom will make you happier or more attractive.

Don’t serve a mission. Its such a long time and costs so much.
President Brigham Young taught, “When men enjoy the spirit of their missions and realize their calling and standing before the Lord and the people, it constitutes the happiest portions of their lives.” Elder Orson F Whitney promised, “There is no joy that can compare with that of a missionary who has been made the instrument for the salvation of a soul.” And President Ezra Taft Benson testified, “I have tasted the joy of missionary work. There is no work in all the world that can bring an individual greater joy and happiness.”

Why should I follow the prophet? He doesn’t understand me.
The Book of Mormon says: “A seer can know of things which are past, and also of things which are to come, and by them shall all things be revealed...” Through revelation, prophets are able to see things before they happen. The scriptures repeatedly demonstrate how those who listened to seers were blessed.

Obedience to the commandments (or your parents) shows you’re weak. Its OK to just do what you want– especially if you want it really bad.
God’s commandments primarily exist to produce happiness for his children and to help them avoid unnecessary pain. Our loving Heavenly Father commands us to avoid practices that produce unhappiness (dishonesty, anger, damaging our mind and body, etc.), and he also commands us to do those things that produce happiness and will help us become like Him (forgive, love, serve, be humble, etc.). There are a lot of commandments, but that also means there are a lot of blessings in store for us.

Its your body! You can treat it any way you want to.
Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings. If girls or women desire to have their ears pierced, they are encouraged to wear only one pair of modest earrings. President Gordon B. Hinckley has clearly said, “A tattoo is graffiti on the temple of the body. We discourage tattoos and also the piercing of the body.”

Honoring your Mother and Father is for losers!
Exodus 20:12 says,” Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
Honor your parents by showing love and respect for them and by being obedient. Be willing to help in the home with chores that need to be done. Participate in family activities and traditions, including family prayer, family home evenings, and family scripture reading. These traditions strengthen and unify families. Set a good example for other family members.

Don’t say your prayers. Nobody is listening.
The LDS Bible Dictionary teaches, “The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.”

Don’t read your scriptures, they are a waste of time.
Those who listen to and obey the word of God, holding fast to it, will overcome the temptations of the adversary and make it to the celestial kingdom. The Book of Mormon teaches, “Whoso would hearken unto the work of God, and would hold fast to it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.”


Lesson:This was a really fun FHE. We began by watching a movie called spiritual crocodiles. It is found on the Book of Mormon Presentation DVD. This DVD is available at the LDS distribution center.

If you do not have access to this, you could show some crocodile attack clips found on you-tube.

I explained that spiritual crocodiles are vicious. They tell us lies, and attack our spirits.

Have the family find one crocodile at a time, read the lie on the front, then read the quote on the back (and discuss).

Refreshment:
Alligator Jaws (these are triangle frosting-filled donuts)