Care for Self

 

I would like to begin a series that will be centered on the National Extension Parent Education Model (NEPEM).

source: https://www.facebook.com/BYUIHomeFamilyDepartment/photos/the-national-extension-parent-education-model-is-used-to-show-6-categories-of-es/393317994478691/

For more information about NEPEM by clicking here

This model focuses on the following six categories:

Care for Self

Understand

Guide

Nurture

Motivate

Advocate

 

Over the next few weeks, we will examine them all. In this post, I would like to focus on the first principle:

Care for Self

Why Care for self? As parents, we spend so much of our time caring for others. It is a noble labor of love and sacrifice. I think it is safe to assume that most parents want to bring their best to the parenting game. But what if, overtime, your “best” has been overworked and diminished?

Elder Marion G. Romney of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said,

"Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak" (1982).

 

As we care for others, keep in mind this advice from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

“For those of you who earnestly seek to bear another’s burdens, it is important that you refortify yourself and build yourself back up when others expect so much of you and indeed take so much out of you. No one is so strong that they do not ever feel fatigued or frustrated or recognize the need to care for themselves. … The caregivers have to have care too. You have to have fuel in the tank before you can give it to others” (Holland, 2018, pp.29-30).

I know what you’re thinking… because I’ve thought it many times myself. You’re thinking, “I’m so busy with my life and my many obligations! When am I supposed to make time to take care of myself?” My hope is that I will help you see the value in creating that time. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming or costly. Self-care comes in many forms and can look like a variety of things in our day-to-day practice. Simply put, self-care is honing in on that special thing—anything really—that “refills your internal batteries” or “puts fuel in our tank” and renews your ability to be your best self. Self-care elevates your ability to show up in a better way for the people and obligations in your life.

In a medically reviewed article entitled, Ways to Practice Self-Care, Carol DerSarkissian (2021) offers some suggestions for more effective care of self.

Her list included many suggestions, but a few I’d like to highlight include:

1.      Find your flow. 

 Find a hobby that you enjoy. Spend your time doing something that pulls in your full attention.

2.      Unplug already! 

Disconnect from electronics, and try to connect more fully with people you love.

3.      Go green. 

Find calm and balance as you spend time outdoors. If being outdoors regularly isn’t possible, DerSarkissian says you can still find benefits as you “…sit next to a window, look at nature photos, or buy a plant.”

4.      Get more shut eye. 

I can’t overemphasize the importance of getting adequate sleep, ideally 7-9 hours. Good sleep impacts many other aspects of our body and functionality. In parenting, adequate sleep is not always possible, but do the best you can.

5.      Move on. 

Get your body moving. Exercise is one of the beneficial forms of caring for oneself. DerSarkissian says, “Turn up your favorite playlist and dance in your living room, swim laps, take a brisk walk around the block. … Rhythmic movements get you out of your head and into the present moment so you're ready for the next challenge” (2021). 

6.      Give Back. 

People often mistakenly assume that self-care is a self-centered endeavor, however, many people find that they feel most renewed when they are focused on and serving others.

7.      Tap into thankfulness. 

Gratitude makes people happier. It effects every aspect of our lives. By conscientiously practicing gratitude, we will be better. DerSarkissian points out, “It helps you notice that even when some things are hard, there's still good in the world and some of it has come your way” (2021).

8.      Jot it in a journal. 

Journaling helps you create order when your life might feel unordered. As you settle into writing, consider it as a time to relax, dream, and process your feelings.

9.      Feed your spirit. 

The article points out that “People who tend to their spiritual side are less apt to worry and feel sad. For some, that means prayer and worship services. For others, it has nothing to do with religion. You may simply meditate every morning. Either way, the result can be that you're better able to take on stress” (2021).

10.  Seek help when you need it. “When a big problem hits, don't pretend nothing's wrong. Speak to a counselor in private or check out a support group. It helps you get a different view of your situation so you can make your best choices. Although your problem probably won't vanish right away, get it off your chest. You'll feel recharged by taking charge -- with help from a pro” (DerSarkissian, 2021).

For me personally, I feel better when I focus on good nutrition. I feel renewed when I connect with people through meaningful conversation. I am my best self when I surround myself with positivity and optimism. At times, my self-care is simply remembering to pause and take a deep breath. Whatever your preferred form of self-care, I hope that you see the value in creating time for it as you continue to bring your best self to your parenting journey.

Next time, we will focus on the concept of Understanding. I hope you'll join me. 

References

DerSarkissian, C. (2021). Self-care strategies that work. WebMD. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/ss/slideshow-self-care-tips

Holland, J. R. (2018). Bearing one another's burdens. Bearing One Another's Burdens. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2018/06/bearing-one-anothers-burdens?lang=eng

Romney, M. G. (1982). The celestial nature of self-reliance. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1982/10/the-celestial-nature-of-self-reliance?lang=eng&adobe_mc_ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.churchofjesuschrist.org%2Fstudy%2Fgeneral-conference%2F1982%2F10%2Fthe-celestial-nature-of-self-reliance%3Flang&adobe_mc_sdid=SDID

Smith, C. A., Cudaback, D., Goddard, H. W., & Myers-Walls, J. A. (1994). NATIONAL EXTENSION PARENT EDUCATION MODEL Of Critical Parenting Practices. The National Extension Parent Education model. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://www.k-state.edu/wwparent/nepem/