Teaching About Intimacy (with sample FHE lessons)

 

In her October 2010 General Conference address entitled, “Stay on the Path,” Sister Rosemary Wixom says, “The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today. Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide an opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths.”

Sometimes the task of teaching our children about intimacy (especially sexual intimacy) can seem daunting. There is no need to feel intimidated. This is a sacred opportunity and obligation. The world we live in today is more than eager to teach your children if you do not. Unfortunately, the world doesn't always (or even often) teach truth... but rather Satan's cheap imitation of truth. Do not leave your children to navigate the barrage of misinformation on their own. Teach them truth. 

There are many resources to help you, and most importantly, we have the gift of the Holy Ghost to help guide us in the specific needs of our children. 

It is important to recognize that teaching about intimacy is not a "one and done" conversation. It is more like many small conversations throughout a lifetime. We can start teaching about bodies and gender from the time our children are tiny. As they grow and mature, those conversations need to grow and mature as well. It is important to be observant of your children's readiness in order to know the best way to teach them. You can read more about that here. 

Below are some sample lessons for Family Home evening. I want to reiterate that this topic requires correct timing as well as an awareness of your child's readiness. What works for one family (or child) may not be a good fit for all. These lessons may be just what you need or serve as a jumping off point.  Take it or leave it, or change it to fit your needs. 

Family Home Evening Lesson

My body is a gift: a lesson about intimacy for children ages 2-7

Objective: To help children recognize and become aware of their body, as a gift from Heavenly Father, and as something that should be honored and treated with care. We will discuss the gift of our bodies and play a game to learn about and identify parts of the body and the things they can do. Depending on readiness, we will address gender, modesty, as well as appropriate and inappropriate touch. In the end, we will have a greater appreciation for the gift of our bodies, as well as started down a path of open communication for future discussions.

Family Business:

Opening Song: I am a Child of God (Children’s songbook, 2)

Opening Prayer:

Scripture: Moses 2: 31

And I, God, saw everything that I had made, and, behold, all things which I had made were very good…

Lesson:

Object lesson:

Show a gift wrapped to look pretty (inside are the body flashcards). BEFORE OPENING THE GIFT, show it and talk about how nice it is to receive gifts. When people give you gifts it is one way that people show they love you.

Question: When someone gives us a gift, how should we treat it? Do we open it and break it? Do we throw it on the ground? No. we take care of it, right? We show that we appreciate it.

Open the gift and show them the body flash cards. (It might be good to say, “Oh look! It’s a fun game for us to play about our wonderful bodies!”).

Printable flashcards (cut them out ahead of time) : https://www.prekinders.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/body-part-word-cards.pdf

Heavenly Father has given us an amazing gift… our bodies! They are one of the things that make us like Him because He has a body too! Bodies can sure do amazing things. They are a gift from Him because He loves us. We should take good care of our bodies and treat them like they are special.

Game: Turn the cards upside down and place them in a pile. Have each child choose a flashcard one at a time. With each card, talk briefly about that body part or have them do a small action. For example: with the hand card, you could say “You have hands. What can you do with your hands? Can you wiggle your fingers? Let’s all give high fives.” For the nose card, you could smell different scents and try to have them guess what they are. For the eye card you can have them find 3 colors that they see. For many of the cards you can just ask “What amazing things can you do with your __________.”  The main point of the game is to reiterate that our bodies are special and can do many things.  

Our bodies are really awesome, aren’t they? I love my body! I’m so grateful for all the things it lets me do. Do you love your body! Yay for the gift of our bodies!

Depending on the age of your children, you could continue the discussion by asking questions like:

 “How are boys’ and girls’ body’s different?”       “What kind of touch is appropriate?”

“What should you do or say if someone is making you uncomfortable?

“Why do you think we wear clothes?”          “What goals can we set to take care of our bodies?”

Closing Song: Head Shoulders, Knees and Toes (Children’s songbook, 275)

Closing Prayer: 

Family Home Evening Lesson

What is sex: a lesson about intimacy for children ages 8-13

Objective: To help children recognize and become aware of exactly what sexual intimacy entails, that it is a sacred gift from Heavenly Father and as such, has parameters for it’s use. We will use an illustrated book for the technical portion of the lesson. We will also discuss the truth that Satan would have us use this gift inappropriately and if we do it will result in heartache. PARENTS ARE STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO SAVE THIS LESSON FOR THE RIGHT TIME DEPENDING ON READINESS. As a result of this lesson, we will have established a feeling of the reverence towards the act of sex, taught about its role in creating babies, and opened a comfortable path for continued dialogue. 

Family Business:

Opening Song: Families Can Be Together Forever (Children’s songbook, 188)       

Opening Prayer: 

Scripture:  Moses 2: 31

And I, God, saw everything that I had made, and behold, all things which I had made were very good…

Lesson:

Side note: The tone of this lesson is very important. As you speak to your child in a mature way, emphasizing the privilege of being mature enough to learn what you’re about to teach them, it will make a big difference in how the information is received.

Today’s family home evening lesson is really special. Your dad and I have noticed that you’ve been asking a lot of questions lately that show us you are really growing up. Because we can see that you are maturing, we think it is time to teach you about one of the most wonderful and special things in the entire world.

Question: What makes Heavenly Father amazing and powerful? What are some of the things that He can do that are amazing? (Answers typically include things like… He can hear our prayers, He can see everyone at once, He can do miracles, the answer that you want to guide them towards or settle on is when you get into His powers to create).

Heavenly Father is a master creator. He can make something exist that didn’t exist before. That is an awesome power! Heavenly Father loves us and trust us so much that He has given us a really special gift. He has given us a tiny portion of His power to create. He has given us the power to create bodies for His spirit children.

What do you think about that? Do you want to learn more about that? (Most children are very intrigued, but if your child says no, then this is a good indicator that it might be best to say, “OK. That’s alright, we can address this in the future when you feel more ready.”)

Let’s get Technical:

Side note: I know a lot of parents who prefer to use medical textbooks to teach this part, and that is great. There are things I like about this book I recommend, and things I wish were different, but overall, I appreciate “Where Did I Come From?” by Peter Mayle (Let me give you a heads up, it is blunt and straight forward and includes illustrated pictures of nudity).

It can be purchased here: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B01A4ANV5G&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_F94BHA1A66GSZ227GCTS&tag=mobile04ad10d-20

I know it can be kind of uncomfortable to talk about this sometimes, but Dad and I want you to know that it is an amazing gift. Can you believe all the things your body can do? It is something that makes you like Heavenly Father, and that is so cool.

Satan doesn’t have the power to create. This makes him really angry. It makes him so mad that you can do something that he can’t, so he wants you to use this gift in the wrong way. He knows that if he can make something special into something gross or something that people treat plainly or think is ok to do with just anyone, then it will make you sad in the end.

Question: Can you think of ways that Satan tricks people into treating sex like it isn’t the most special and sacred gift that it is?

Right, in movies or even on the playground you will hear others say things that are inappropriate about sex. But now you know more. You know that that is Satan trying to steal people’s happiness! So you can know that you don’t want to participate in that kind of entertainment or conversation.

Heavenly Father wants us to only use this gift with our husband or wife.

Question: Why do you think that is?

Question: Would it be appropriate to tell everyone at school what you learned tonight? (Not really, because they may not be ready to handle it as maturely as you are, and it could turn into an inappropriate conversation).

That was a lot of information. Do you have any other questions? Dad and I want you to know that you will have more questions come to your mind in the next day or two. You can always come to us and ask us anything. We will always answer truthfully. We love you!

Closing Song: I am a Child of God (Children’s songbook, 2)

Closing Prayer: 

 

Family Home Evening Lesson

Avoiding Temptation: a lesson about intimacy for children ages 14+

Objective: To help older children recognize and become aware of the sacredness of sexuality and that temptations are surrounding them, but can be avoided through intentional actions. We will use For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices as well as a talk by Elder Lynn G Robbins as a guide for the discussion. In the end, we hope to have set some goals for working towards purity in a sex drenched world, as well as continued our ongoing dialogue about intimacy.

Family Business:

Opening Song: Choose the Right Way (Children’s songbook, 160)  

Opening Prayer: 

Scripture:  D&C 121:45  

“Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God”

Lesson:

It may be helpful to provide each member of the family with a copy of “For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices”

Have a volunteer read this excerpt from For the Strength of Youth: A Guide for Making Choices

Sexual feelings are an important part of God’s plan to create happy marriages and eternal families. These feelings are not sinful—they are sacred. Because sexual feelings are so sacred and so powerful, God has given you His law of chastity to prepare you to use these feelings as He intends. The law of chastity states that God approves of sexual activity only between a man and a woman who are married. Many in the world ignore or even mock God’s law, but the Lord invites us to be His disciples and live a standard higher than the world’s.

Question: Does anyone have any thought about the quote?

One thought that I had is that it points out that having sexual feelings is not sinful, it is actually exactly the way Heavenly Father created us. Satan would have us believe that those urges are so powerful that we can’t control them, but God has taught us that we have control over our bodies and the power to resist those powerful urges until the time is right.

In the world we live in, sex is everywhere. It is in our music, our movies, our ads in commercials and on magazine covers. The temptation seems to be everywhere. 

Elder Lynn G. Robbins, in a talk called “Avoid it” (https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/lynn-g-robbins/avoid/)  teaches it is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist temptation.

Read the following example from Elder Robbins talk:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

To illustrate the wisdom of this principle, let’s suppose my great temptation in life is chocolate chip cookies and I’m trying to conquer the temptation. It is easier for me not to have the cookies in the house than it is to walk through the front door and smell two dozen of them fresh out of the oven—warm, moist, and smelling good. At that moment I am no longer simply fighting temptation; I am also fighting chemistry. The aroma triggers the pleasure center of my brain. My mouth begins to water in preparation for the cookies. With each tempting breath my resistance grows weaker as my craving grows stronger and my appetite begins to overpower my reason and resolve. My other self—the one that is carnal—argues in favor of the cookies: “You know, dieting doesn’t have to mean deprivation. It’s your overall effort that counts, and one cookie certainly isn’t going to blow your diet.” With my pleasure center activated, I don’t need much convincing, and I yield to the cookie’s enticing aroma. How easy is it to stop when that first cookie only intensified your appetite rather than satisfied it? That same voice says, “Well, you’ve blown it now! You may as well enjoy yourself and recommit to your diet tomorrow.” So after I’ve eaten about six cookies, maybe with a glass of milk, I begin to feel remorseful about breaking my resolution and diet.

Question: How do you think this applies to the quote we read earlier from For the Strength of Youth?

Elder Robbins continues, “I hope you will understand the metaphor as I now apply it to a far stronger desire. The Lord has blessed each of us with powerful hormones that also link to the brain’s pleasure center. It is a very desirable attraction that begins to occur in adolescence toward the opposite sex. Along with the many spiritual reasons that inspire a person to get married, the Lord has also blessed us with this powerful physical drive, with this intense chemistry, to motivate us to get married—to be fathers and mothers, to have children and a family of our own, and to strengthen the loving bonds between husband and wife. Why? According to “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” it is because “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”  The proclamation also states “that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”

Question: Knowing that we live in a sex-obsessed world, what are some ways you can avoid the temptations all around you?

The following quote from For the Strength of Youth could be a spark for ongoing conversation:

Keep sex and sexual feelings sacred. They should not be the subject of jokes or entertainment. Outside of marriage between a man and a woman, it is wrong to touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body even if clothed. In your choices about what you do, look at, read, listen to, think about, post, or text, avoid anything that purposely arouses lustful emotions in others or yourself. This includes pornography in any form. If you find that situations or activities make temptations stronger, avoid them. You know what those situations and activities are. And if you aren’t sure, the Spirit, your parents, and your leaders can help you know. Show your Father in Heaven that you honor and respect the sacred power to create life.

Close by watching the following video and challenging the family to write down a goal for resisting temptation, and increasing in purity.

Closing Song: Keep the Commandments (Children’s songbook, 146)

Closing Prayer: 

FHE: The Importance of Choosing Good Friends

This lesson is most appropriate for older children (8 and older). Its objective is to illustrate how our lives are affected by the type of friends we choose to be around.
Before Family Home Evening, I prepared 4 envelopes, each with a name from the following story written on the front. (Sam, Kate, Mitch, Betty) I cut out the number strips (found at the end of the story) for each name, and placed all 6 in each envelope.

We started by reading the section in For the Strength of Youth entitled "Friends". 

Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.
To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included.
Invite your friends of other faiths to your Church meetings and activities, where they can learn about the gospel. Help them feel welcome and wanted. Many people have joined the Church through the example and fellowship of their friends. Don’t be offended if your friends decline your invitation to learn more about the gospel. Just continue to be their friend.

Next, I emphasized how important it is to surround ourselves with good friends. I then read the children the following story.

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY!


One morning, you wake up and as you open your eyes, you realize that it is Saturday. As you snuggled down in your warm bed, you think about what fun things you might do that day. You decided to call a friend on the phone. (HAVE EACH CHILD CHOOSE FRIEND ENVELOPE, but do not read open it)

Your friends mother answered the phone and tells you... (Have each child remove paper #1, and read it out loud)

She says, “I will have them call you as soon as they are available.” You climb out of bed, thinking about your friend and their example. Sometimes you wish you could be more like them. You pour yourself a bowl of cereal. In your mind, you are thinking about your science project due next week, but you really don’t feel like doing it. As you sit there wondering what to do, the phone rings. It is your friend. They say, (#2)

Before you know it the day is half way over, and it is time for lunch– and finally some free time to hang out with your friend and have some fun. You and your buddy decide to go to McDonald's for a burger. As you are walking in, you see a little boy who has fallen off his bike, spilled his money, and scraped his knee. You and your friend... (#3)

After lunch, you friend excitedly tells you they have a surprise they have been wanting to show you. Your friend... (#4)

You tell your friend that you need to go home for dinner, because you told your parents you would be home, and don’t want them to worry. Your friend says, (#5)

After dinner, you spend a little while getting ready for the party. You have been excited about this party all week. When you and your friend get there, you realize... (#6)

That night, as you climb back into bed, you think about your very busy day. How do you feel? Are you proud of your actions? Did your friend help you be your best self? Are you more like your Savior now than you were this morning? Are you happy? Who are you going to spend your time with tomorrow?

The End


SAM:
#1– I'm sorry, Sam is not available. He left early this morning to go weed the neighbors garden.


#2– Hey man! My mom said you called. I am almost done weeding, but wondered if you want to help me finish. I am using this weeding project for my Science fair. I thought you might want to work on it together. My neighbor said she would treat us to lunch after.

#3– Help the little boy up, dust off his knees, gather up his money, and call his Mother on your phone. After his mom comes, you go in to McDonald's, and the manager says he saw your kindness. He gives you your meal for free.

#4– Takes you to the car and pulls out some of your favorite cookies he made for you. He has a few extra plates too. You spend the next couple hours delivering them to your friends around town.

#5– “OK, tell your parents I said ‘Hi’. Bytheway, do you want to Jen’s party later? You decide to go, and agree that Sam will pick you up later that night.

#6– That the party is not appropriate! Your friend suggests that you leave. The 2 of you decide to go buy some treats and rent a movie together instead. You watch it at your house, and have a great time.

KATE:
#1– I'm sorry, Kate is not available. She went to help babysit so our friend could go to the temple.


#2– Hi. I just got home. I need to finish my homework, but wondered if you want to meet up for lunch? You decide to quickly get your science project done while you wait.

#3– Help the little fella up, and bring him inside to call his mom. Your friend uses some of the money she earned babysitting to buy him an ice cream while you wait.

#4– Brings you back to her house where she gives you a picture she painted. You spend the next couple hours painting together, and working in your talents.

#5– “Oh man, we are having so much fun! You call and ask if Kate can come home with you for dinner? Your mom says that is fine. It works out good, because you plan on going to a party together later that night anyway.

#6– That the party is a surprise party given by your parents for you and all of your friends. They wanted to thank you for always being so obedient. You feel proud of yourself and your friend, and have a great time.


MITCH:
#1– I'm sorry, Mitch is not available. He is still asleep in his room. He came home very late.


#2– Dude, I am so tired. Your phone call woke me up. Thanks a lot! I'm going back to bed, but I will call you for lunch and we can hang out.

#3– Push the kid out of the way and go in Mc Donalds.

#4– Brings you back to his car, where he pulls out some gross magazines. You didn’t want to see them, but you feel trapped, and cant help but look.

#5– “Do you always do what your mom says?” You feel a little embarrassed and decide to skip dinner and go to your friends house instead. Your pretty hungry, and hope there will be some good food at the party you are going to later.

#6– That the party is really boring. Your friend insists you leave. You go to a park, and throw rocks in the pond. Before long, your friend starts throwing rocks at cars. A police car comes and – even thought you didn’t throw any rocks, you end up at the police station– in trouble and calling your mom.

BETTY:
#1– I'm sorry, Betty is not available. She didn’t come home last night, and I'm worried about her.


#2– Hey. I just got home and saw you called. I spent the night at Tami’s (or at least that's what I told my mom ha ha). I need to sleep, but I will pick you up later for lunch.

#3– Grab the little boys money, and buy an extra treat or 2.

#4– Takes you to a movie theater, where her older brother sneaks you into a rater R movie. You didn’t want to see it, but didn’t know how to say no.

#5– “Geesh! Your parents are so lame! I will pick you up later for the party.” You march into your house, angry at your parents for making you come home.

#6– That the party is wild. You aren’t very comfortable, but your friend convinces you it is alright. She passes you a drink (that tasted kind of funny) and.. Well... you don’t really remember much after that.

At the end of the story, I reassured my children that I know they have the ability to choose good friends., I explained that-- just like the envelopes, sometimes people look OK on the outside, and then you realize that they aren't necessarily what you had thought on the inside. It is important to be kind to everyone, but it is equally important to choose good people to spend your time with.

The Love Seat

We played a game tonight for Family Home Evening that was really fun. Our lesson was about loving one another as the Savior loved everyone, but the activity would work anytime (especially during the LOVE-ly month of February).  I placed a chair in the middle of the room, and each family member took a turn in the chair. While the family member was in the "love-seat", the rest of the family each thought of 3 things they loved about that individual. Then, one at a time we would tell 1 of the things we loved about them. The 2 rules were that we had to get up and look them in the eyes, and after we mentioned the thing we loved, we closed by saying "...This is one of the many things I love about you." At first, I thought the rules were kind of silly, but they really added to the special-ness of the game-- particularly with my older children. My favorite part of the game was my husband telling me what he loved about me.  It was nice for my children to be reminded how much he loves me, and I love him. It was wonderful to hear everyone speak so sweet to one another. The feeling of love and kindness was so strong in our home after we finished, and the sweetness lingered all night long.

FHE: Spiritual Crocodiles

Preparation ahead of time:
Print and color 15 crocodiles.

On the front of the crocodile glue the negative "spiritual crocodile" statement (underlined). On the back of the crocodile glue the related quote. 

Hide the crocodiles around the room before FHE.


Crocodile quotes:

Listen to whatever type of music you want... the words don’t matter, its just the beat that is cool
Music is an important and powerful part of life. It can be an influence for good that helps you draw closer to Heavenly Father. However, it can also be used for wicked purposes. Unworthy music may seem harmless, but it can have evil effects on your mind and spirit. Choose carefully the music you listen to. Pay attention to how you feel when you are listening. Don’t listen to music that drives away the Spirit, encourages immorality, glorifies violence, uses foul or offensive language, or promotes Satanism or other evil practices.

It doesn't matter what type of games you play– they’re just games...not real life.
Whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Therefore, choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices. It will allow you to enjoy yourself without losing the Spirit of the Lord. While much entertainment is good, some of it can lead you away from righteous living. Satan uses such entertainment to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal and exciting. It can mislead you into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.

Pornography wont hurt you. Its fun.
Pornography in all its forms is especially dangerous and addictive. What may begin as a curious indulgence can become a destructive habit that takes control of your life. It can lead you to sexual transgression and even criminal behavior. Pornography is a poison that weakens your self-control, changes the way you see others, causes you to lose the guidance of the Spirit, and can even affect your ability to have a normal relationship with your future spouse. If you encounter pornography, turn away from it immediately.

You should wear whatever is in style. Modest clothes are so old-fashioned.
Your body is God’s sacred creation. Respect it as a gift from God, and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you.

It doesn’t matter who your friends are...
Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.

Sometimes, its OK to tell a lie– especially if it keeps you from getting in trouble.
Be honest with yourself, others, and the Lord. When you are honest in every way, you build strength of character that will allow you to be of great service to God and others. You will be blessed with peace of mind and self-respect. When you are honest, you will be trusted by the Lord and by those around you. Dishonesty hurts you and usually hurts others as well. When you lie, steal, shoplift, or cheat, you damage your spirit and become less able to do good things. Be honest in your job, giving a full amount of work for your pay. Don’t rationalize that wrong is right, even though many people around you may think there is no harm in being dishonest. Being honest requires courage and commitment to do what you know is right.

Words don’t matter! Besides– everyone swears!
How you speak says much about who you are. Clean and intelligent language is evidence of a bright and wholesome mind. Use language that uplifts, encourages, and compliments others. Do not insult others or put them down, even in joking. Speak kindly and positively about others so you can fulfill the Lord’s commandment to love one another. When you use good language, you invite the Spirit to be with you. Always use the names of God and Jesus Christ with reverence and respect. Misusing their names is a sin. Profane, vulgar, or crude language or gestures, as well as jokes about immoral actions, are offensive to the Lord and to others. Foul language harms your spirit and degrades you. Do not let others influence you to use it.

Smoking and drinking are fun. Don’t follow the word of wisdom
Never use tobacco products, such as cigarettes, snuff, chewing tobacco, cigars, and pipe tobacco. They are very addictive and will damage your body and shorten your life. Also, do not drink coffee or tea, for these are addictive and harmful. Any form of alcohol is harmful to your body and spirit. Being under the influence of alcohol weakens your judgment and self-control and could lead you to break the law of chastity or other commandments. Drinking can lead to alcoholism, which destroys individuals and families. Any drug, chemical, or dangerous practice that is used to produce a sensation or “high” can destroy your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. These include hard drugs, prescription or over-the-counter medications that are abused, and household chemicals. Never let Satan or others lead you to think that breaking the Word of Wisdom will make you happier or more attractive.

Don’t serve a mission. Its such a long time and costs so much.
President Brigham Young taught, “When men enjoy the spirit of their missions and realize their calling and standing before the Lord and the people, it constitutes the happiest portions of their lives.” Elder Orson F Whitney promised, “There is no joy that can compare with that of a missionary who has been made the instrument for the salvation of a soul.” And President Ezra Taft Benson testified, “I have tasted the joy of missionary work. There is no work in all the world that can bring an individual greater joy and happiness.”

Why should I follow the prophet? He doesn’t understand me.
The Book of Mormon says: “A seer can know of things which are past, and also of things which are to come, and by them shall all things be revealed...” Through revelation, prophets are able to see things before they happen. The scriptures repeatedly demonstrate how those who listened to seers were blessed.

Obedience to the commandments (or your parents) shows you’re weak. Its OK to just do what you want– especially if you want it really bad.
God’s commandments primarily exist to produce happiness for his children and to help them avoid unnecessary pain. Our loving Heavenly Father commands us to avoid practices that produce unhappiness (dishonesty, anger, damaging our mind and body, etc.), and he also commands us to do those things that produce happiness and will help us become like Him (forgive, love, serve, be humble, etc.). There are a lot of commandments, but that also means there are a lot of blessings in store for us.

Its your body! You can treat it any way you want to.
Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings. If girls or women desire to have their ears pierced, they are encouraged to wear only one pair of modest earrings. President Gordon B. Hinckley has clearly said, “A tattoo is graffiti on the temple of the body. We discourage tattoos and also the piercing of the body.”

Honoring your Mother and Father is for losers!
Exodus 20:12 says,” Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
Honor your parents by showing love and respect for them and by being obedient. Be willing to help in the home with chores that need to be done. Participate in family activities and traditions, including family prayer, family home evenings, and family scripture reading. These traditions strengthen and unify families. Set a good example for other family members.

Don’t say your prayers. Nobody is listening.
The LDS Bible Dictionary teaches, “The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.”

Don’t read your scriptures, they are a waste of time.
Those who listen to and obey the word of God, holding fast to it, will overcome the temptations of the adversary and make it to the celestial kingdom. The Book of Mormon teaches, “Whoso would hearken unto the work of God, and would hold fast to it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.”


Lesson:This was a really fun FHE. We began by watching a movie called spiritual crocodiles. It is found on the Book of Mormon Presentation DVD. This DVD is available at the LDS distribution center.

If you do not have access to this, you could show some crocodile attack clips found on you-tube.

I explained that spiritual crocodiles are vicious. They tell us lies, and attack our spirits.

Have the family find one crocodile at a time, read the lie on the front, then read the quote on the back (and discuss).

Refreshment:
Alligator Jaws (these are triangle frosting-filled donuts)

FHE: Be Thou Wise (A Back To School Lesson)

PRAYER:

SONG:

LESSON:

STORY OF SOLOMON: (see 1 Kings Chapter 3)
If you want to act this out you will need a kings crown or robe, toy sword, a baby doll, 2 women, a servant, and a king Solomon– can also include a king David)


King David (as in, the same David who faced Goliath) was a GREAT King. He was fair, and wise, and righteous. He had a son named Solomon. Solomon grew up watching and learning from his father. He saw that his father was respected by many. When David grew old, it was Solomon (even though he was not the oldest) who was chosen (by Nathan the prophet) to be king after David died.

Once David died, Solomon was worried that he would not be as good of a king as his father was. He knew that a lot of people were counting on him. It was a big responsibility. He did not want to disappoint them. Most of all, he did not want to disappoint Heavenly Father. Solomon prayed to Heavenly Father to bless him. Heavenly Father loved Solomon. He asked Solomon what blessings he wanted. Solomon wanted to be wise. Heavenly Father was pleased that Solomon wanted to be a wise king– to better serve others. Heavenly Father promised that if Solomon kept the commandments, he would be the most wise man on earth.

Solomon became known for his wisdom. People came from all over the land, including kings and queens, to seek Solomon’s council. It was not always easy for Solomon. He had to depend on the Lord for guidance.

One day two women came before Solomon with a baby boy (show babydoll). The women said they lived in the same house. They each had a baby, but one of the babies died. Now both women wanted the baby that was alive. Each mother said he was her baby. They wanted King Solomon to tell them who could keep the baby.
Solomon wanted to find out which woman was the baby’s mother. He had a wise plan. He asked for a sword (show sword). He told a servant to cut the baby in half. He would give half of the baby to each woman. Solomon would not really let the baby be cut in half. He wanted to see what the women would do. He knew the baby’s mother would not let her son be hurt.
One mother told Solomon not to cut the baby in half. She did not want the baby to be hurt. She loved the baby. She said the other woman could have him. The other woman told Solomon to cut the baby in half.
Then Solomon knew who should keep the baby. The real mother did not want the baby to be hurt. Solomon gave the baby to her. Soon all the Israelites heard what had happened. They knew God had made Solomon wise.


APPLICATION:

Just as King Solomon desired the gift of wisdom, we too can pray to Heavenly Father for wisdom and understanding. He loves you and wants you to be successful in your new school year. Just as Solomon had to work at being wise and righteous– you too have to work towards your goals in order to receive the righteous blessings you desire.

ACTIVITY:

Coloring Page found here: (http://www.bible-printables.com/Coloring-Pages/Old-Testament/old-test-story-pics/10-OT-031-solomon.gif)

Back-To-School Goals
Write on a 3X5 card “This year I hope to...___________________”

REFRESHMENTS:

Make “School Buses” using Snack Cakes (recommend Twinkies), Lifesavers (or other round candies), and frosting.

Morning Devotional or a Quick FHE Lesson

In the past (usually during the Summer), we have started our days with a morning devotional. It is usually a quick thought, quote, or lesson before we have our morning prayer. When my children were younger, it worked well to draw the devotional quote or lesson out of a bag. We enjoyed this, because the topic of our devotional was always a surprise. It is also fun, for older children to be given the responsibility of doing the morning devotional on a specific day.

Something new that has worked well for us is watching the "Mormon Messages" found at www.lds.org They are SO good, and work great for a morning devotional, or a quick FHE lesson.

This is one that we used recently, and was a big hit:
Our True Identity

Importance of Regular FHE

Years ago, my Mother jokingly made the comment that she wished there were a spray you could cover your children with as they left home each day, that would keep them safe out in the world-- an "Armor of God in a Can." Unfortunately no such product exists. However, we have not been left empty handed. The gospel offers many promises of protection if we simply obey. Having regular Family Home Evenings is one way to claim these blessings.

"We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility. We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities."
(First Presidency letter, 11 February 1999 — Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, and James E. Faust)

"Monday nights are reserved throughout the Church for family home evenings. We encourage members to set aside this time to strengthen family ties and teach the gospel in their homes. . . ."
(First Presidency letter, 4 October 1999 — Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, and James E. Faust)

"If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them."
(First Presidency letter, 27 April 1915 — Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose

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What great promises!!! So often, I feel like I can't shield my children from the world, but having FHE every week is something I CAN do. As I have made the effort to prepare something special each week,I have seen the blessings truly fall upon my home. My children look forward to Family Home Evening. It is not always easy to pull something together, and at times, it seems like a failed attempt. However, I find great comfort in knowing that I am empowering my family to claim the blessings promised to us if we obey.

Here is an excellent source on making FHE successful.