Advocate

 

Advocate

What does it mean to you to be an advocate? 

I can clearly remember a lesson in advocacy from when I was a young mother. My children and I rushed up to the elementary school during the summer to see which classes (and teachers) they had been assigned to for the coming school year. As I looked at the list my heart sank. My sweet, tenderhearted almost first grader was put in a class with a notoriously mean teacher. I had helped in the school the previous year, enough to know that having my son in her class would be a huge personality mismatch and a recipe for a very difficult year.  I worried and fretted about it as the summer went on. I didn't want to make waves. I didn't want the uncomfortable confrontation with the principal (who made it clear that he didn't accept "teacher requests"). I didn't want a target on my son's back. I didn't want to be a lawn-mower parent. I thought often (and prayed often) about what the best course of action would be. I recall expressing all of these worries to my neighbor who was older and wiser than I was. 

She said, "YOU are your son's advocate! If you aren't going to work for his best interest then who is?"

She was right! I was my child's best advocate. I put on my "brave pants" and went to visit with the principal. He didn't make it an easy conversation, but I was eventually able to persuade him and have my boy switched to a different class. 

Sometimes advocating for our children means exactly what I just described-- particularly if our children have special needs or challenges. As my neighbor said, "If you aren't going to work for your child's best interest, then who is?" 

If you find yourself in need of help as you advocate for your child, most communities or school districts have clinical resources or early intervention programs that can give you direction and assistance. 

Here are some great resources on advocacy. 

It is especially important to note that advocacy is more than just intervening and standing up for your child's needs. 

As you advocate for your child's needs, sometimes it is important to remember that often their greatest need is YOU. 

Advocating for our children simply means supporting them.

Advocating is your child knowing that they can count on you being in the stands at their football game or violin concert. Advocating is helping your child learn their multiplication tables or their spelling words. Advocating looks like late night conversations and early morning driving practice. It is a soft lap or a kiss for a scraped knee. Any time you are supporting your child as you work for their best interest, you are advocating. 

Your parenting is only as effective as the degree to which your children believe you have their best interest at heart. 

Each time you practice being a present parent, each time you strengthen your connections, each time you practice advocacy, you are increasing that degree-- thus increasing your influence in their lives. 

I love the notion that advocating for our children doesn't have to just be reserved for moments of distress or confrontation. Advocacy can also be enriching and enjoyable-- and even fun. 

I love the resources provided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for supporting our children. They include articles related to parent-child communication, fostering resilience in children, helping children set goals, cheering your children on, and many more. I highly recommend you take time to study them as you work towards strengthening your ability to advocate for your children's best interest.